Poem
HAVE YOU EVER?
Have you ever started writing a poem with a meaning in mind then as you go along realize the meaning of the poem has somehow transitioned to something else? And you’re reading it like how the hell did that happen?!?
Well,
I started writing about not being happy but trying to carry on as you are and wishing someone would notice and call you out. Somehow, along the way my poem turned into me having feelings for a friend (which I think I’m starting to like Mr. Filler) anyways now I’m stumped lol. Should I continue with what I started with or go along with what my mind is making me?! Ugh! and I don’t know why I’m catching feelings for Mr. Filler! We’ve been friends for soooo many years and now I want to all of a sudden start really liking him?!? How dare I?!
Here’s the beginning of my poem titled “Inside”….if you want to add a few lines, go ahead. Maybe you could help me with my direction lol. Happy Thursday loves!!
I WISH I COULD EXPLAIN THESE FEELINGS
WITHIN ME
BUT BEHIND MY SHYNESS
I HIDE
I DUCK BEHIND
MY OWN SHADOW
WISH YOU COULD LOOK PAST MY SMILE
AND SEE THE HURT IN MY EYES
SEE MY EMOTIONAL BATTLE
-SilentlyBliss
15th street
Shifting in a bed full of pillows
I can feel the feathers as they lay just beneath my chin
Mozart in the background, sheets the scent of Tide
My ear rings, my noise twitches, yet I refuse to open my eyes
Stay just a little longer, with me
Bits of dreams, like a family gathering,
It’s only just a “visit”
Soon little by little the pillows will clump
The tide would transcend to an unwelcome stench
And Mozart would get drained out by the sound of rushing feet
The impatient cars as their horns and their breaks speak
Another memory diminished by the busyness of 15th street
I release my sealed shut eyes
And face what one calls “reality”
But this, this is not “REAL” to me
This is not where I am supposed to be
THIS IS NOT THE LIFE THAT ONCE WAS GRANTED TO ME
MY GOD! Why have I been a victim to this circumstance?
I walk into church for guidance, for love, for support
Yet some members refuse to hold my hand
Turn up their nose, whisper, scoot to the side
As I walk down, just to kneel upon YOU Lord
As I pray, and pray and pray tears stream down my brown cheeks
I am a strong man, I refuse to allow
A cup and coins
To Own ME
-SilentlyBliss
I wish I could love you: Frozen
You speak so freely of this love
You have for me
Words creatively entwined
Letter to letter
I watch your lips move as you
Describe this “love”
Your eyes, as crystal
As the ocean
Yet here I stand amongst you
Frozen
I’m sorry
I wish I could mirror the harmonizing words
You so bravely speak to me
But
I am broken
I am damaged
I am unable to free this weight keeping me
As I lift my feet
This “love” I long to reciprocate
But today
I am frozen
With
Hate
-SilentyBliss
Conflictions
mental conflictions
I am torn
you are my cancer
yet I think of you more
conflictions within I
unable to delete your voice
from this mind of mines
I am my enemy
you are my disease
yet I walk into your grasp
mentally unable to release
these emotional binds you
have upon me
mental conflictions
I lose sleep
-SilentlyBliss
EXHAUSTED
Exhausted, deprived, sucked dry
I’ve lived, I’m living
Yet I’m not alive
You next to me, I’m suffocated
Unable to breath, unable to think
Unable to smile, unable to laugh
I’m unmotivated
Existing, merely existing
Within a relationship
Without the….relations
Within a marriage
Without the merry
Within
Within
Within a house
Without a home…..
I am alone
Yes, I am alone
I am alone when you are beside me
I am alone
when you are
Inside me
Motionless making without the love
Legs only opened for the sake
OF
Unable to enjoy you
I am dry
Tears streaming, I close my eyes
Again, I am existing
Merely existing
Within an empty room
Body flipped, twisted within positions
Your moaning
To my
Regressions
I cannot suppress this
I cannot support this
Sanctioning the little air you’ve given me
My inner voice grasps
Screams
I cannot do this
Devaluing me
diamond dulled
stripped of its shine
I open my eyes
I’ve opened my eyes
I am more than this
Merely existing
Who wants to just exist?
I am more than this
Giving you what you need
I lose more of me
Fraction of a fraction of a fraction
I become less of me
I AM MORE THAN THIS
-SilentyBliss